[ There's this pause on the other end. Like Lil is trying to decide if she's going to throw the coffee table out the window or just stand there and scream -- whatever it takes to loosen the impossibly tight knot in her gut. Last time she'd lost someone important, she'd gone to Matt. Now that he isn't here, she has nowhere to run, no one to take it out on. But what she won't do is cry, not on the phone with Kate.
So she lets out an unsteady exhale in a most remarkable show of self-control, which is probably less due to actual self-restraint and more because she hasn't fully processed this yet. ]
I don't know if it's legitimate. When Loki's taken off, we were still able to send messages, but who knows. It's ... [She shrugs vaguely, even if Lil can't actually see that.]
Sorry. These things don't get easier.
[And as she looks around the office, she's really thinking of how it's not easy for her, either. Her and Matt, they had a system. They had it worked out.
Now she's a little at a loss. But she can barely focus on that, and in a way, the fact that she's talking to Lil is making that easier (or harder, depending on the perspective).]
[ Mentally, she's telling herself she's been through things a hundred times worse than this -- the concentration camps, the experiments -- but none of that feels more painful, and it isn't much of a comfort. ]
Kate -- [ But she will not. Flip her shit. On the phone. ] Hon, I'm gonna need t'call y'back.
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selfequipped) wrote2014-02-10 02:43 pm
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So she lets out an unsteady exhale in a most remarkable show of self-control, which is probably less due to actual self-restraint and more because she hasn't fully processed this yet. ]
But what?
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Sorry. These things don't get easier.
[And as she looks around the office, she's really thinking of how it's not easy for her, either. Her and Matt, they had a system. They had it worked out.
Now she's a little at a loss. But she can barely focus on that, and in a way, the fact that she's talking to Lil is making that easier (or harder, depending on the perspective).]
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Kate -- [ But she will not. Flip her shit. On the phone. ] Hon, I'm gonna need t'call y'back.
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Her empty office that might not be hers for much longer.
Damnit.]