selfequipped | MASK OR MENACE IC CONTACT

I AM rather clever.

I'd even say that you're one of the more clever people I know here.

Quite true, but now we're flattering me.

Why are we (you, but let's do an inverse royal we for a second) flattering me?

Can't I flatter you seemingly just to flatter you?

[ no. the answer is no. ]

You COULD, but then you wouldn't be Dorian Gray.

Point taken.

Really, this is simply me buttering you up to butter you up. After all, who knows when I'll need a purple-clad detective slash vigilante slash person in good standing with just about everybody?

Well, I did nearly win you an election you didn't want. Are you sure you want me on your side?

There's a difference between 'nearly won' and 'actually won.' So yes, I do.

Well, I am pretty relentless. I could probably do better next time.

You say that like there's a next time.

Will Dorian Gray run for office that he doesn't want again?

All signs point to yes.

This may surprise you, but I can learn from my mistakes

But what if you learned that you could actually do some GOOD for the office?

I tried doing good once. It didn't stick.

Should I expect your next robbery to be an 8-12, then?

Why would I rob something again when there's a whole host of other crimes I can check off my roster?

I've already been convicted of robbery and technically committed public intoxication and illicit drug use...what's next, tax evasion?

Sounds a little boring for you.

If I jumped straight to murder, people might get mad.

[ plus, y'know, he already murdered someone here..... ]

Here's a novel idea: be good for more than five minutes.

Ew. No.

Then no matter how much good favor you work up with me, eventually I won't be on the same side as you. Do you want that?

[Wow, this suddenly got serious.]

[ Wow indeed. ]

I don't know what you want me to say here. I'm not a good person. You know that. And I thought you knew that.

There is "not a good person" and "I'm going to rack up crimes because I like to willfully show I can't be anything but that." Being a broken record of a different type has to be boring, too.

I'm not planning on setting the Guiness World Record for debauchery. It's just something that happens in my line of work.

Your "line of work" is a nightclub job that I got you through Loki.

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